Post by Pandie on Jul 15, 2010 17:45:55 GMT -5
You know, all my life I was in a hurry to grow up. I wanted to make my own rules, stand on my own feet, and basically just be left alone to live however I felt like it. Well, I'm grown up on. I make my own rules, I stand on my own two feet, and I'm left alone to live however I choose, and I hate it.
That's right, I said it. I hate it. You don't ever realize how much you love the company you're in until it's no longer there with you all the time. Sure, we all like a little 'alone' time, but there is such thing as too much alone time.
I have a crappy little house, with all the thing's I need to live stuffed away somewhere inside it. And yet, I hate being there. More then anything in the world, I hate having to walk through that front door and know I'm there by myself. That my family aren't there to even give me a casual hello, or get after me for not doing anything... It's isolating, and I'm terrified of it. Absolutely terrified. It's different when you enjoy your house, I suppose. But all I can do at my place, is listen to the people upstairs laugh and carry on, and know that I don't have that.
If you thought that in highschool you felt like you'd never fit in, wait until you start spending days upon days talking to yourself because there's no one around that understands you.
Sure, I've got friends. I've got lots of friends. But I'm tired of doing the same thing's every day. I'm tired of talking about the same stuff every night, and I'm tired of the drama this little town thrives on.
It's sad when the only place you want to be is back at home, with your parents in the next room. It's the only place you feel comfortable. A place you hide away in when you're sick of the every day chores of your own life.
I don't know what I would do without my parents. Though I get on their nerves all the time, they always welcome me into their home. They never tell me I have a home of my own and to go there. They simply leave their door open to me whenever I need it. Whenever I want it.
I don't think they realize how much I detest having to go to my place. How tired I am of life. It just irritates the heck outta me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends dearly, but how can they enjoy doing the same stuff over and over agian.
It just.. drives me crazy. A house with no one in it drives me crazy. I'm terrified to go home. Not because there's any more danager there then there is anywhere else, but because I know when I go to my place I'm going to be completely alone, and that feeling sufforcates me.
Whereas when I'm at home (my parents house) I don't feel alone at all. It's the most comforting feeling in the world to know that somebody that loves you unconditionally is right there in the next room.
I know no matter how bad my day goes... How gloomy my future looks, or how alone my life feels, all I have to do is walk through my parents door and all of that disappears. There's no worries when I'm here. No troubles, no depressing thoughts. It's a vacation that doesn't cost me a penny.
If I had it my way, I'd move back home in a heartbeat. The comforts it brings will always be my security blanket. The only reason why I choose not to ask to move back home is because I am at that age where I need to make it in the world on my own two feet. I can't forever live under the protectioned wings of my parents.
So for now, I'll visit my parents place, my home, as much as I possibly can, as long as I possibly can. For every night spent there, saves a little bit more of my sanity.
That's right, I said it. I hate it. You don't ever realize how much you love the company you're in until it's no longer there with you all the time. Sure, we all like a little 'alone' time, but there is such thing as too much alone time.
I have a crappy little house, with all the thing's I need to live stuffed away somewhere inside it. And yet, I hate being there. More then anything in the world, I hate having to walk through that front door and know I'm there by myself. That my family aren't there to even give me a casual hello, or get after me for not doing anything... It's isolating, and I'm terrified of it. Absolutely terrified. It's different when you enjoy your house, I suppose. But all I can do at my place, is listen to the people upstairs laugh and carry on, and know that I don't have that.
If you thought that in highschool you felt like you'd never fit in, wait until you start spending days upon days talking to yourself because there's no one around that understands you.
Sure, I've got friends. I've got lots of friends. But I'm tired of doing the same thing's every day. I'm tired of talking about the same stuff every night, and I'm tired of the drama this little town thrives on.
It's sad when the only place you want to be is back at home, with your parents in the next room. It's the only place you feel comfortable. A place you hide away in when you're sick of the every day chores of your own life.
I don't know what I would do without my parents. Though I get on their nerves all the time, they always welcome me into their home. They never tell me I have a home of my own and to go there. They simply leave their door open to me whenever I need it. Whenever I want it.
I don't think they realize how much I detest having to go to my place. How tired I am of life. It just irritates the heck outta me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends dearly, but how can they enjoy doing the same stuff over and over agian.
It just.. drives me crazy. A house with no one in it drives me crazy. I'm terrified to go home. Not because there's any more danager there then there is anywhere else, but because I know when I go to my place I'm going to be completely alone, and that feeling sufforcates me.
Whereas when I'm at home (my parents house) I don't feel alone at all. It's the most comforting feeling in the world to know that somebody that loves you unconditionally is right there in the next room.
I know no matter how bad my day goes... How gloomy my future looks, or how alone my life feels, all I have to do is walk through my parents door and all of that disappears. There's no worries when I'm here. No troubles, no depressing thoughts. It's a vacation that doesn't cost me a penny.
If I had it my way, I'd move back home in a heartbeat. The comforts it brings will always be my security blanket. The only reason why I choose not to ask to move back home is because I am at that age where I need to make it in the world on my own two feet. I can't forever live under the protectioned wings of my parents.
So for now, I'll visit my parents place, my home, as much as I possibly can, as long as I possibly can. For every night spent there, saves a little bit more of my sanity.
