Post by Pandie on Jul 15, 2010 17:47:38 GMT -5
Over the years she has found herself settled almost exactly as she is tonight, feeling almost exactly as she feels, and wondering almost exactly what she finds herself wondering. Life may have changed consistantly around her, but always one thing remains. One thing is never changing, and that is her ability to settle down infront of her computer and to find her finger's flying over a rutty old keyboard in attempt to sort out all that's going on beneath the surface.
Writing has been her passion, her lifeline and her eternal companion when all else seems to crumble. And so, it is of little surprise to her, that she find herself relying on her writing this evening, like so many before.
Still, she struggles with day to day living. With making ends meet, growing and changing with the world. She still longs for the secret ingredience that'll make everything somehow easier. The only difference, now, is that she knows it must come from her and her alone. There are no fairy godmothers in the modern world, there are no magic spells or prince charmings. There is only here and now.
The girl of parties, of popularity, of dating and randomness. The girl of poetry and love and utopia has been replaced. And standing in her place is a young woman, admittedly, a scared and cautious young woman, but a woman no less. And though the road ahead of her may seem unplanned and terrifying, it is a road she cannot wait to travel down.
Many may say that she's given up the best parts of her life. She has out grown parties and drinking and yes, even some people she once considered friends. But little do they realize that her life is far from over, for its only truely just beginning. Be it without experience, without goals or friends or lovers, she will place one size five shoe infront of the other, she will hold her head high, and she will, ultimately, step into her future and into the exciting life that awaits her: parenthood.
Will she miss the loud music? The endless parties at her home, or the constant sound of unexpected company as friends stop in all hours of the day and night? Will she miss holding hands, being charmed and swept up into the world of dating? Perhaps she'll even begin to miss the ability to live in the moment? She may. From time to time, she may. But there are greater thing's to look forward to. A career, a child, a family. There things, though as insignificant as they may seem to you, are what really matters to her.
This is who she was destined to become. And although it all might not have gone according to plan, it is exactly as it should be. She is no better, no worse then everybody else. She deserves second chances, first experiences, and happiness, and anyone whom thinks she deserves any less, well... They're no real loss to her and deserve to be left behind, in her past. There have been a great many in her past whom really dont deserve to be there. That is not what matters... What matters now, is who deserves to be apart of her and her childs future. For its the future that truely ever means anything. The rest? Well, those were just stepping stones to get her to where she is today... Important, life defining stones, but stones nontheless.
Writing has been her passion, her lifeline and her eternal companion when all else seems to crumble. And so, it is of little surprise to her, that she find herself relying on her writing this evening, like so many before.
Still, she struggles with day to day living. With making ends meet, growing and changing with the world. She still longs for the secret ingredience that'll make everything somehow easier. The only difference, now, is that she knows it must come from her and her alone. There are no fairy godmothers in the modern world, there are no magic spells or prince charmings. There is only here and now.
The girl of parties, of popularity, of dating and randomness. The girl of poetry and love and utopia has been replaced. And standing in her place is a young woman, admittedly, a scared and cautious young woman, but a woman no less. And though the road ahead of her may seem unplanned and terrifying, it is a road she cannot wait to travel down.
Many may say that she's given up the best parts of her life. She has out grown parties and drinking and yes, even some people she once considered friends. But little do they realize that her life is far from over, for its only truely just beginning. Be it without experience, without goals or friends or lovers, she will place one size five shoe infront of the other, she will hold her head high, and she will, ultimately, step into her future and into the exciting life that awaits her: parenthood.
Will she miss the loud music? The endless parties at her home, or the constant sound of unexpected company as friends stop in all hours of the day and night? Will she miss holding hands, being charmed and swept up into the world of dating? Perhaps she'll even begin to miss the ability to live in the moment? She may. From time to time, she may. But there are greater thing's to look forward to. A career, a child, a family. There things, though as insignificant as they may seem to you, are what really matters to her.
This is who she was destined to become. And although it all might not have gone according to plan, it is exactly as it should be. She is no better, no worse then everybody else. She deserves second chances, first experiences, and happiness, and anyone whom thinks she deserves any less, well... They're no real loss to her and deserve to be left behind, in her past. There have been a great many in her past whom really dont deserve to be there. That is not what matters... What matters now, is who deserves to be apart of her and her childs future. For its the future that truely ever means anything. The rest? Well, those were just stepping stones to get her to where she is today... Important, life defining stones, but stones nontheless.
