Post by Pandie on Jul 15, 2010 17:49:31 GMT -5
Last night I had the oddest dream. I dreamt that my father and I were arguing. Peyton wasn't there, and I wasn't a mother, but a stubborn girl that was refusing to let another man into her life. A girl that believed that all men do is hurt you. They walk away, leaving you wounded and forever waiting for them to return. I dreamt that I hated him, oh that hate was so powerful. I refused to let him be the only thing he ever wanted to be, and that was someone to love. A small part of our family.
The thing's I called him in my dream, the way I acted, so childish. So misdirected. And I know it was a dream, for I could never have done such a thing to such a great man. But just when I realized it was a dream, the scene shifted. It went from a terrified stubborn version of myself, to one of understanding and deep love. The dream seemed, almost, to become real.
See, I think the dream held some sort of truth, some meaning to it. Sure, it was just a dream, but are not our dreams full of deeper meanings?
I once believed that people always leave. I associated men with wounds that never healed, never gave. Just, people that were there to hurt you. I believed this for years, but this morning when I woke up, and wrote down my dream in my journal, I realized something.
My father was none of those things, and yet he is a man. He has always been there for me, for me and my family, even when we probably didn't deserve him. He has proven, time and time again, that not all men are the same. They won't all leave. They dont all hurt us.
My mother finally found her fairy tale, and for that I envy her. She has found the one person in the entire world that she was meant to be with. The one person who loves and cherrishes her every day, in both the big and little things.
And if my mother was able to find her happily ever after, perhaps too some day I will follow in her glorious footsteps. Perhaps some day I will find the one man who doesn't want to leave. Who will love and cherrish me in ways my father has all of us.
When growing up, we all tell ourselves that fairytales do not come true. We spend so much time, us girls, wishing our lives were right out of a book. I guess I'm finially realizing that though it be rare, a fairytale is not all ficitional. It merely takes one man, so deeply in love to know what he wants and goes for it, to make a little girl's fairy tale come to life.
I think, perhaps, that I may have gone about the dating life all the wrong way. I wanted prince charming. Anyone who couldn't fit on that peddlestool wasn't even given the chance. But I realize, now, that I don't need Prince Charming. Infact, I don't need the prince at all... Give me someone like Daddy any day.
Someone that would move mountains, if they could. Someone that takes his time in little special ways to show you how he feels. Someone that loves you, no matter what you do, what you say, unconditionally. Give me a guy that sees beyond the stubborn rebellious woman, to a girl who's just afraid to be left behind again.
Though it may be true that my own prince got lost somewhere along the way, I am patient and I can wait for I already have the greatest man in my life. And my prince, whomever he may be, will have some mighty big shoes to fill.
The thing's I called him in my dream, the way I acted, so childish. So misdirected. And I know it was a dream, for I could never have done such a thing to such a great man. But just when I realized it was a dream, the scene shifted. It went from a terrified stubborn version of myself, to one of understanding and deep love. The dream seemed, almost, to become real.
See, I think the dream held some sort of truth, some meaning to it. Sure, it was just a dream, but are not our dreams full of deeper meanings?
I once believed that people always leave. I associated men with wounds that never healed, never gave. Just, people that were there to hurt you. I believed this for years, but this morning when I woke up, and wrote down my dream in my journal, I realized something.
My father was none of those things, and yet he is a man. He has always been there for me, for me and my family, even when we probably didn't deserve him. He has proven, time and time again, that not all men are the same. They won't all leave. They dont all hurt us.
My mother finally found her fairy tale, and for that I envy her. She has found the one person in the entire world that she was meant to be with. The one person who loves and cherrishes her every day, in both the big and little things.
And if my mother was able to find her happily ever after, perhaps too some day I will follow in her glorious footsteps. Perhaps some day I will find the one man who doesn't want to leave. Who will love and cherrish me in ways my father has all of us.
When growing up, we all tell ourselves that fairytales do not come true. We spend so much time, us girls, wishing our lives were right out of a book. I guess I'm finially realizing that though it be rare, a fairytale is not all ficitional. It merely takes one man, so deeply in love to know what he wants and goes for it, to make a little girl's fairy tale come to life.
I think, perhaps, that I may have gone about the dating life all the wrong way. I wanted prince charming. Anyone who couldn't fit on that peddlestool wasn't even given the chance. But I realize, now, that I don't need Prince Charming. Infact, I don't need the prince at all... Give me someone like Daddy any day.
Someone that would move mountains, if they could. Someone that takes his time in little special ways to show you how he feels. Someone that loves you, no matter what you do, what you say, unconditionally. Give me a guy that sees beyond the stubborn rebellious woman, to a girl who's just afraid to be left behind again.
Though it may be true that my own prince got lost somewhere along the way, I am patient and I can wait for I already have the greatest man in my life. And my prince, whomever he may be, will have some mighty big shoes to fill.
